PHONE BOOK, DOES IT MATTER HOW YOUR NAME IS STORED ?

Bizzzzz Bizzzzzzzzzz went my seat, oops had something escaped without my knowledge? Bizzzzz Bizzzzzzzzzz went my seat again, now I got up to investigate what was causing my seat to vibrate.  I realized to my relief that it was my friends phone, apparently ‘love’ was calling. I rolled my eyes as I passed her the phone.  If she stored her  current boyfriends number under the name  ‘love’ I wonder how she stored her former boyfriends number. That thought brought a smile to my face, as I recalled how messy their split had been. The poor fellow, his number was probably stored as ‘fool’ or ‘cheat’ or better still had been deleted altogether.  I guess having ones number stored on another’s phone is a privilege not a right.


 This incident got me thinking about the names in my phone register. In my register were the usual suspects, the Adowa’s, Afua’s, kofi’s, kwame’s, Kwabena’s, Sister Julie, Auntie Christie etc then there were the unusual ones ‘carpenter-blue container’, ‘flat’ (wonder who that is), Jim-big head, operator, Red (probably an Ewe man), ‘Obolo’ and stranger still were the ‘$$$$’   and the ‘****’.  My register made for interesting reading. I started wondering how other people stored my number, God only knows what my number is stored as.  This brings to mind the question, Should one be concerned about how ones name is stored on another’s phone?

The phone has evolved from being a mobile communication device to a digital assistant. These days you can check your bank balance, store your pictures, browse the internet, play games, listen to music, manage your data files and much much more. In other words your phone invariably becomes an extension of your world. With this in mind I think we all reserve the right to determine what, how and who we allow into our world.  My Ewe friend might not take kindly to me storing his number under the name “red’ but if that is the only way I can correctly identify him when he calls, than I reckon I am more than justified.  If my friend prefers to refer to her boyfriend as ‘love’ then she must be justified too, for in her world he epitomizes LOVE.

I am sure most of you have experienced the awkward moment when you call an acquaintance and he/she is unable to identify you and you have to spend 10 mins jogging his memory, am sure you wish he had stored your number appropriately. Next time you reach for your phone to store a number I hope you put much thought into it and you consider how best you can distinguish this particular acquaintance from the dozens already stored on your phone. I leave you with a quote from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet “What is in a name? That which we call a rose.  By any other name would smell as sweet.”

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STREET BEGGARS,SHOULD WE ALWAYS GIVE THEM MONEY ?

♫ Christmas is coming

And the geese are getting fat

Please put a penny in the poor man’s hat

If you haven’t got a penny,

A pesewa will doIf you have no pesewa

 May God bless you ♫

♫ Every day is Christmas
And our pockets must be full
Please put a cedi in the poor man’s hat
If you haven’t got a Cedi
A pesewa will doIf you have no pesewa
May God curse you ♫

Most of you might not be familiar with the second verse of this popular local carol, but it’s one our dear brothers on the streets know all too well. The increasing population of beggars on our streets is becoming worrying, is it that there are growing numbers of disabled people in the system or the business of begging is becoming very lucrative. Gone were the days when beggars were frail looking old folks. These days the beggars on our streets are younger and less frail. This makes me side with the assertion that the business of begging is becoming very profitable. Why else will an able bodied younger man lame in both legs prefer to whiz through traffic begging for money than learn a trade which does not require the use of both legs.

 Ever wondered why they never seem to upgrade their mobility aids. There is a beggar in town who always hops around on a big stick; can’t he save enough money to buy a pair of crutches? What about those guys, who move around on rollers on the streets, can’t they afford a locally made wheel chair? Are they really disabled or some are faking it? What happens to the monies they receive? Ghanaians are very giving so I know they receive loads of money, where does it end up? Do they spend their money at the drinking bars and brothels? Do they have families they support? Do they have alternative livelihoods? How come beggars no longer perform an act for monies?

 Gone are the days when beggars used to sing/drum/dance for a token fee, at least those ones earned their keep, these days they hit the streets and expect people to dish out money to them. These are some of the thoughts that course through my head when I see a beggar approaching. A beggar will be polite to you up until the moment you refuse to part with your hard earned cedi. Some even go as far as reigning insults and curses on you. Is it a must that one should always give alms? Personally, I am of the opinion that giving alms is not a long term solution to assisting the disabled. The adage ‘Give a man a fish today and he will be hungry tomorrow, teach him how to fish and he will never go hungry’ holds true here. There must be a better way we can help the disabled and rid the system of fraudsters posing as disabled people

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SOME 'TRO-TRO' DRIVERS AND 'MATES' ARE SO RUDE

Hmm! How am I going to make it in time for the interview? How did I get drawn into this madness? Those were the thoughts that surged through my head as I looked down on my disheveled shirt and skewed tie. It’s true what they say ‘Don’t argue with a fool for people might not know the difference’. Am not implying my opponent was a fool: who am I kidding.

Enough of this mumbling. You might be wondering “what is this guy going on about”. Let me relate the story from the top. It began like a typical Monday morning, just that this day was the day of my big interview. My big break in life. You know how everyone’s life is marked by defining moments; moments that change the course of one’s life. This was going to be my moment. I set out in the morning feeling optimistic and full of hope.

I waited at the usual bus stop for the bus known in local parlance as ‘trotro’. I didn’t wait long for it seemed the heavens were rooting in my favour because the bus stopped right in front of me and I quickly dashed in before the throng of people gathered at the bus stop could get to the vehicle. I positioned myself comfortably in the front seat beside the driver and stuck my elbow out (me twaa seven). Soon the bus was full and we set off for the CBD (Central Business District).

Halfway through the journey the drivers mate started calling out for the fare. I reached into my back pocket to retrieve my wallet and realized to my dismay that there was no wallet. I searched frantically in that single back pocket as if by searching I could miraculously conjure it. I cast my mind back to recall how I could have misplaced it. That was when I realized I had traded my well-worn trousers which had my wallet firmly glued to the back pocket for a new one because of my interview. Asem aba. How was I going to explain myself? Who would believe me? Just then the mate rudely prodded and shouted “Yes Front Front”.

I pretended to be searching my pockets and he focused his attention on the next row. Phew! That was a close one. I needed an escape plan. Fast!. As I search a kind looking young lady sitting behind me guessed my predicament and offered to pay. I gave her an appreciative look as she handed over the money to the mate and gestured towards me. Just then the mate shouted “Abrantie, wo be si wohe fa” meaning ‘Youngman where will you alight’. This drew the attention of the other occupants of the vehicle to the ensuing drama. I softly said “37” so as people wouldn’t know he was referring to me. Apparently he didn’t hear because he shouted ‘Coat coat wo be si wohe?’ the situation was becoming embarrassing by the minute. I looked out the window and realized we were approaching the main airport junction, I hurriedly said ‘Airport second’; “Me kaase wo ko 37” meaning ‘I thought you said 37’he retorted.

 Now the situation had turned awkward and all eyes were on me. I ignored the comment the stared out the window; I could hear snickering and giggling in the cabin. That seemed to urge him on because he again shouted “Wa bo tie nanso, wonnim b33bia wo ko mpo”. The whole cabin burst out into laughter including the driver. I wish I could melt into the seat. I was more than grateful when the vehicle stopped at the airport second bus stop. I literally leapt out of the vehicle and as I got off I heard the drivers mate say under his breath “Ob33ma koto…”; I didn’t wait for him to finish. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of the vehicle onto the sidewalk. It was as if I had been possessed.

This action startled him and I took the opportunity to deliver a few hefty blows before a few concerned passengers pried us apart. He rained insults upon me as he grudgingly boarded the vehicle. I could care less; I had given that insolent mate a lesson in respect. So dear readers this was how I found myself 250m away from my destination, with no money, and all tousled up. From the way I had started the day things could only get better. I know most of you have had similar encounters with drivers’ mates; maybe not so physical but encounters where they went out of their way just to be rude to a passenger.

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PRACTISING 'LAFA' (GH CELEBS)

The Ghanaian movie industry has undergone a topsy turvy evolution. From the post independence ‘I told U so’ , ‘Road to Kukurantumi’ to the ‘80’s ‘Sika Sunsum’ ‘90’s ‘Harvest at Seventeen’, ‘Sabina’, ‘Diabolo’ to the present day ‘ Kyewaa’, ‘Beyonce and Rihanna’ and ‘Checkmate’.

Recently the issue of actors and actresses enunciating their scripts in a style which can be described as American English has come as a concern to many Ghanaians. This is because it is very difficult to understand or follow a story line when the dialogue is unfathomable. Due to this most movie lovers prefer movies filmed in the local dialects which is understandable because why should an actor/actress born and bred in Ghana speak English as if they were conceived under lady Liberty and had just set foot in the motherland. The irony of it all is during the start of their careers these actors spoke flawless Gold Coast English.

This has precipitated the coining of the term LAFA (Locally Acquired Foreign Accent). But in defense of these actors/actresses; the movies are not just produced for the Ghanaian market, most find their way to audiences across the seas and therefore need to compete favorably in the global movie industry. As to whether this is a justifiable reason is debatable. They go through great lengths to sustain the accent throughout the movie however some not so skilled ones lose the accent mid stream much to the delight of the audience.

Looking back at the evolution the movie industry has gone through so far I am certain this too shall pass and with time and patience our movie industry will be an enviable one.
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IS FACEBOOK A POPULARITY CONTEST ?

I do not know about you but when I first signed on to facebook I used to admire the number of friends some of my pals had on their page. Some had as many as 200 friends as compared to my meager 10. Since then I have strived to make as many friends as possible online; thus started the popularity contest.

Facebook is a social networking site, it’s an extension of your social life, however there is a little twist. Unlike the real life social scene, there is no physical contact, no awkward introduction; it’s like you get to make friends passively. For an introvert like me it was heaven. Now I could compete on a level plane with the extroverts. I accepted anyone who requested to be my friend and I equally sent out loads of friend requests relishing every friend request confirmed. My friends list grew by leaps and bounds; I had turned into a social flower overnight.

But then my utopia hit a snag, I had inadvertently allowed strangers into my virtual space. Soon came the unwanted comments on my page, requests to join all sorts of groups and tags in all kinds of pictures. It seemed like there was a new surprise waiting on my page every day. I began to dread logging into my account and even considered closing my account. I could blame no one but myself, for as different as the virtual social scene is from the real thing, they have a lot in common. You still have friends who are always inappropriate, friends who are leeches, friends who can’t keep their mouths shut, friends who are annoyingly optimistic, friends who are opportunist etc.

I learnt my lesson the hard way; I painstakingly sifted through my friends list and got rid of most of my new friends. I am now a reformed ‘virtual extrovert’ keeping a healthy number of virtual friends. To those still in the popularity race I wish them well and I hope their fortunes are better than mine.

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WHAT WOMEN THINK THEY KNOW ABOUT MEN

1. Men love being the Alpha male; the dominant cohort

2. ALL men were once BOYS; emphasis on BOYS

3. Men like being pampered

4. In searching for a partner men look out for women who can be their sister, mother and friend; talk about the complete package

5. Behind every successful man is a woman pulling the strings

6. Men are more brave and confident when they are around other guys

7. Men are hopeless at searching for missing items

8. Men are moved by sight

9. Men love sports

10. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, I know this is a cliché, maybe it’s because it’s very true. Show me a guy who wouldn’t appreciate a good meal and I will show you a guy who just visited the dentist.

DEMOCRACY, IS IS VOTING TO GIVE SOMEONE A JOB,ALTHOUGH YOUR JOBLESS ?

‘Vote for me make I chop president, U go Chop vice president’
The illogicality of this song became evident to me a few weeks ago; why will I want to be a vice president when I have the power to make someone else president? Sadly many of us have fallen prey to this tactic used by many politicians.

Most of you might have noticed how the political arena is dominated by self seeking citizens whose political ambitions were not borne out of a deep patriotic sense but rather a poor bank balance. Those politicians were once like us; jobless or living from pay check to pay check. We easily identified with them on the campaign platform; after all who better to understand our plight than a fellow ‘broke man’.

They promise jobs, money in our pockets, good roads; affordable housing etc. the list is endless. But once elected into office, they rescind on these promises and the electorate is left disillusioned. The irony of it all is that they promised us jobs and we gave them jobs, they promised money in our pockets and we put money in their pockets, affordable housing and we gave them free accommodation with no utility bills.

Is this what they mean by democracy? Is this what; an ‘equal share in formal political power’ looks like? Is this what we queue for hours for? Could it be that we possess the power to change our destinies all along? Food for thought for the hungry man
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IS THERE 'JUJU' IN FOOTBALL ? TIME FOR AFRICA TO USE IT TO WIN THE WORLD CUP

The mention of Juju brings to mind scenes of frail, straw skirt clad old men with blood shot eyes dancing around pots of smoke, waving horse tail whisks and chanting incantations on objects; and who can blame us. That is the sort of image the media has painted over the years. The word actually refers to the supernatural. Most unexplainable events and occurrences are attributed to Juju. It has been accredited with some of the most gruesome crimes committed by mankind in our part of the world.
Now, onto football which is the pride of many African countries.


Football has been known to unite countries. In actual fact the government of Brazil built more stadiums during times of economic crisis than any other period in the countries history, just because they knew that once the populace were happy they were least likely to complain about the harsh economic climate. During the 2008 CAN tournament almost every Ghanaian felt proud to be a Ghanaian. The young and old thronged the fan parks and stadiums to watch the matches. There is no doubt therefore that football is a uniting force wherever the great game is played.
Juju and football seems like an odd pair, but yet there are always rumours circulating of how opponents are aided by supernatural forces, and how these forces influence the outcome of games. Is this because there are inexplicable occurrences on the pitch? Can’t these occurrences be attributed to the skills or lack of skills of the players?
I don’t know much about juju or football but it seems whenever the two meet the outcome is favourable for the team who is aided. If there is such a thing as Juju I hope the Africans bring it to the world cup, infact I am willing to buy a straw skirt and a lot of talcum powder in aid of juju, just because we as Africans have a lot of differences which divides us and winning the World cup would be a huge unifying force.

WHY PEOPLE GO TO ACCRA MALL

The concept of shopping malls was first conceived in 1922 by the JC Nichols Company, it was based on the historical market place. The market place, we all know, has always been a place where you can get almost anything under the sun. There are market places where one can even purchase human parts, gecko eyes, rat tooth etc.

It has always served as a communal hot spot, a melting pot, and a watering hole. It is against this backdrop that thousands of malls across the globe have thrived, even in the western world where communal life is rare, how much more our dear country where communal life is the backbone of our society. The Accra mall has come to play a vital role in the social lives of most Ghanaians both young and old. It not only serves as a one stop shop for all your consumer needs but also; as a watering hole where people meet to catch up on each others’ lives, meet new friends and transact business.

A note of caution to all who might visit the Accra mall, like all market places there is an abundance of confidence tricksters, pick pockets and opportunists, but that’s a topic for another day.
So by all means visit the Accra mall (I hope the management of the mall are taking note of this free advertisement-sort a brother out) and enjoy the experience.

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WHAT MEN THINK THEY KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

At a point in every young man’s life (at least the straight ones) there comes a time when the issue of girls and what makes them tick crops up. Up until the moment most boys get along perfectly well with girls and don’t think of them as strange creatures created to torment them.

Most men seem to know more about the anatomical parts of women than the psyche of women. They know the butt shapes, the bra sizes, the different shapes and shades of women, the corny pick-up lines, etc however, with all this knowledge they wish they had manuals to help them figure women out. But we all know men never read manuals. They prefer to tackle matters using their in borne manly instincts (an oxymoron).




This approach like most DIY jobs is disastrous and they end up pushing all the wrong buttons and it turns into a chore rather than a mutually satisfying relationship. Men should take time to get to know women, learn her interests, her expectations in life, her hobbies, her fears, her achievements , her.... the list is quite tall but it’s worth all the effort as most happily married and attached men will attest to. Men know a lot about women however they know all the wrong stuff, they should concentrate their energies getting to know the right things.
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WHO STARTED COCOA SMUGGLING IN GHANA, THE TETTEH QUARSHIE STORY

How cocoa found its way to Ghana or the Gold Coast was an issue of debate during the colonial era but that was resolved my Sir Gordon Guggisberg who declared that Tetteh Quarshie was the first to bring cocoa into the Gold Coast. The contenders were the Basel Missionaries and a reputable colonial Farmer; however this is all history I need not bother you with.

Recently the issue of who is taking cocoa out of Ghana has cropped up in the media, costing people their jobs and once again reiterating the corruption that exists in our public service. When is smuggling a forbidden thing? Everyone knows the story of Tetteh Quarshie, a trained blacksmith, who travelled to Fernando Po (now Bioko in Equatorial Guinea), worked on cocoa plantations and how he smuggled cocoa beans into the Gold Coast. Back then, exporting cocoa seedlings and beans were forbidden, the cocoa trading business had been monopolized by the Portuguese and the Spanish.

Tetteh Quarshie; daring Ga man and avid farmer that he was; saw the importance of the cocoa tree and decide to bring it home to his land of birth. The cocoa tree ideally named Theobroma (Food of the gods) Cacao has many uses and this was not lost on Tetteh Quarshie. For six years, he sought a way to transport the precious beans and like all great ideas it occurred to him in the most unlikely place; a call of nature. I wonder if he knew the risks involved in such a daring act. Risks aside, it was an excellent plan and he bravely carried it through.

With the seed now safely and warmly in the Gold Coast (;)), he toiled for 3 years to cultivate it. This was because the climate was quite different from what prevailed in Fernando Po. His persistence paid off and the tree blossomed he shared the precious beans and his knowledge cultivating it with his fellow farmers and the rest is history.

Today, he is a celebrated statesman with hospitals and intersections named after him. His cocoa farm is a tourist attraction and chocolatiers and cocoa lover’s world wide travel to come and see it. Ghana now earns a chunk of its foreign exchange from its export and many describe it as the bulwark of Ghana’s economy. Now to the present day smugglers, are they being outlawed because we perceive them as being unpatriotic? What you gain by foul (no pun intended) means, shouldn’t you lose by foul means? The statement; live by the sword; die by the sword rings true here. So next time you feel like pointing fingers at the customs officials or the police service think again. We owe a chunk of our economy to a smuggler.

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WILL YOU GIVE YOUR PARTNER YOUR FACEBOOK PASSWORD ?

Over the years, social networking has grown to become an integral part of our day to day lives. Social networking sites have become extensions of our psyche. Some have gone as far as living out their lives on social networking sites.

These sites are so advanced that you can virtually control who has access to your profile and how much information the person is privy to. In light of these advancements, the issue of sharing passwords becomes more complex than owning a joint bank account with your partner. If it is indeed an extension of our psyches then surely one cannot be expected to share this medium.

Personally, sharing a password equals allowing the other person to impersonate you. How will he/she know which friend requests to ignore and which to accept, or who to poke and who not to poke, etc it’s a faux pas waiting to occur. I am sure there are those who will argue that giving your partner your password doesn’t necessarily mean he/she will access your page, but if he/she is not going to access your page why the need to share passwords? If there are issues of trust then I doubt if sharing of passwords will help matters.

I think when it comes to social networking passwords the phrase ‘To each, His own’ rings true. There are those who might disagree with this assertion and who will go ahead and share passwords, but a word of caution to these daring few ‘You cannot roast corn with two sets of eyes’

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STEPHEN APPIAH'S 'WOES'

Stephen Leroy Appiah (born December 24, 1980) is a Ghanaian international football midfielder…. (Hmmm, that makes him 30). Those were my thoughts as I read that statement and I am sure those were your thoughts too. Ridiculous as that age sounds am sure he swears by it. Why will a grown man lie about his age?
It seems this is a trend that prevails in the football fraternity. So much so, that FIFA has introduced wrist MRI to determine the ages of players within certain age brackets. Football is a physically tasking game and there have been instances where players have dropped dead on the field of play. Tasking the body leads to injuries that an otherwise younger body can easily heal. The peak age for any footballer these days in pegged at 21-25 years, apply this to Stephen and we can say that he is in his twilight years.

In fact most African players are in their twilight years. Back to the question, why will a grown man lie about his age? Most African footballers come from poor and underprivileged communities and only get the opportunity to play professional football when they are in their early twenties. Their professional careers are therefore very short and in an effort to lengthen their careers they lie about their age.
So yes! Age is catching up with our captain and it’s in both our interests if he retires into a managerial role. He might be mentally fit for the world cup but is he physically fit. He might make it through the tournament but at what cost?
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