5 ways not to display your affection in public

5 ways not to display your affection in public

 
Isn't it lovely to see a couple expressing affection for each other? Well… up to a point. There's a whole ocean of dignity between holding hands in the street and swapping saliva in public.

When you are in a loving relationship, whilst it can be hard to keep your hands off your significant other, it can also be very hard for anyone unlucky enough to be watching. PDAs (public displays of affection, as opposed to personal digital assistants… remember them?) are never much fun unless you're taking part in them, and even then it's often a lot more pleasurable for one half of the PDAing couple than for the other.

We're not suggesting that no-one should show affection in public. Public affection is important in a relationship. It shows your partner that you fancy them and that you're proud to be with them, and that's a vital part of making them feel appreciated. Any onlooker would have to be pretty small-minded to object to couples holding hands, snuggling up or giving each other a peck on the cheek. But go much further than that, and you can start to make people feel very uncomfortable indeed.

Here are five PDA blunders that make us want to scream "get a room"… or just make us want to scream.


1. Kissing with tongues

You look horrible when you snog. Sorry, but you do. Everyone does, except for teenage movie stars, and even they look prettier with their mouths shut and their faces unattached.

Public snogging isn't just ugly, it's also undignified and can be counter-productive. You may wish to tell the world "look how loved up we are," but the world hears "look how desperate we are to show you that we fancy each other."

It also conveys a sense of immaturity. Most people get public snogging out of their systems at school discos. When you see two adults doing it, you can't help but wonder if they've ever actually had sex. It's a grim and deeply unsexy spectacle.


2. Mismatched PDA

Everyone has a different threshold for modesty. If you want to snog your partner or hold their hand but they'd rather not, don't impose your wishes on them. Slobbering over a reluctant man or woman is a very good way to turn them off.

If your partner is less keen on PDA than you are, it's not necessarily a reflection of their feelings for you - it probably has a lot more to do with shyness. If you try to kiss them in public and they flinch or start to pull away, that should be more than enough of a signal for you to stop. Be sensitive to their PDA tolerance and don't disrespect their wishes.


3. Friend-unfriendly PDA

You can be romantic with your partner in front of friends, right? Well, no. It's rude, for a number of reasons. If you and your partner are out with friends, you should be giving your friends your attention, not each other. You can give each other all the attention you like when you get home later.

And what about friends who aren't happy in their relationships, or single friends who'd rather not be single? The last thing they want to see is you two cooing over each other. Even the happiest of your friends won't be too delighted to play gooseberry if they're alone with you and you start groping each other.


4. Premature PDA

Many new lovers engage in public displays of affection as a way of "marking territory". It's hardly surprising, given the tidal waves of lust and excitement that wash over you when you start falling for someone. But be warned, premature pawing is not a way to keep someone interested. It's just as likely to scare them off.


5. PDA in the workplace

Meeting a new partner online is now one of the top three ways to start a relationship, but if you're someone who's met their partner at work, the temptation to engage in a spot of on-the-clock PDA must be strong. It's a temptation to be resisted at all costs.

Any kind of cutesy contact in the workplace could earn you disrespect, jealousy or even the sack. Don't even think about swapping saucy emails. It's also wise to keep your PDA to a respectable minimum during after-work drinks with colleagues. They'll have a lot more respect for you as a couple if all your PDAs are strictly private displays of affection, well away from the office.